THE FREEDOM OF EXISTING

If you look at the world around you it’s pretty easy to feel gloom and depressed with the way things are going. Even in our little country, here in Europe, we are suffering with the push of those in the extreme right of the political sphere. As usual, what initially started as an attack on the immigrants, quickly changed to an attack on trans people. It’s simply baffling how much hate exists inside people and how righteous they feel expressing it online.

Since this witch hunt started, for every post I see fighting for the most basic human rights, there’s thousands of people angry with the existence of those who are different, angry that schools even dare brush the fact homosexual families exist and the most heinous ideas about how they would never allow their kids to be like that.

Well, guess what? It doesn’t matter whether Carlos allows his kids to be like this, in the end, they will always exist and the only difference is how they will feel about themselves. I can say this with the utmost certainty because I was that kid once and grew up with other kids alike.

I’m very lucky for the family I have, because even if it wasn’t completely easy to come out with all of the mean homophobic jokes and the constant dislike for a group none had ever really met, they really surprised me with their growth in the long run. It took a lot of crying, denial and a couple of terrible depressive years but in the end, I felt my family grow to not only fully accept me but better understand this community that was so alien to them.

I remember the first years I presented myself as a lesbian. My mom would be very awkward, she wasn’t mean at all, but it was noticeable it wasn’t the easiest thing for her. Every time I talked about my attraction to women it was followed with a weird face that she probably didn’t even notice which was even worse when people thought I was a boy based on my looks. I was perfectly comfortable with myself and who I was, but the reaction of my family when my queerness was shown was deeply painful.

Again, I must highlight, this was me getting it easier. I know great friends that had it way worse and some still do. For some reason, society has this grand idea that kids are queer because it’s a trend or that they decide to change their gender like they would change clothes. Ignoring the scientific facts and the truth that in reality most of us struggle deeply in silence before we come up with an identity that fits us better. I know many that would “love” to have been born according to the norms but were strong enough to maintain truthful to themselves. Because they do actually love to be different when people allow them.

I am and always will be a socially weird person, but from the moment I started being completely open about myself, I have been so much happier. Before, I would isolate myself from my family in shame, meanwhile, now I can easily talk about my sexuality around them like it’s nothing. The freedom of sitting down with my mom watching a telenovela and commenting how hot an actress is or having her join me in rooting for a gay couple is purely fantastic.

This all came into perspective in my head when we were talking with my little sister at the table. My annoying little brat of a sis was being dramatic about chores for the funs of it and she proclaimed that my mom was being sexist because I look like a boy and asked less off me. This comparison that in the past would have made everyone uncomfortable, was a pure moment of joy and laugher between everyone. I can’t explain how happy I am for them accepting who I love and how I want to look without being locked in to the norms of society.

Those who should learn something from this, sadly never will, but I just wanted to share either way how allowing kids to express themselves from a young age can make their lives so much easier. This beautiful feeling could have always existed and I might not have hated myself as much growing up if we allowed the hate that has been fermented for centuries to dissipate.

This is why so many people are angry with parliament right now. In 2018 we managed to make lives better for kids that suffered with dysphoria and wanted to feel good growing up. Society finally had to accept their identity even if they couldn’t fully transition yet, and the legal permission of taking puberty blockers alleviated the more severe symptoms of change that hit teenagers. These are simple things that prevented countless suicides and just made everyone’s life’s more enjoyable and happier. Going back is not an option, failing other vulnerable queer kids is not an option, especially for the convenience of a loud minority that can’t mind their own business.

PS: Even though I agree my lazy ass could definitely help more around the house, most times I do less because I work, study and drive everyone around.